If Personal Ads Were Written Like Job Ads

SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Susie Anderson, LLC

Relationship Code: 43K25510
Relocation Required: Upon tenure
Hours: 24/7
Travel Required: Yes (dinners out, getaways, visiting Sue’s parents)
Experience level: Career/Experienced
Teleromancing?: Some

Thank you for considering a relationship with Susie Anderson! Sue has over 20 years of rich and varied life experience, a decent education, no allergies, and straight teeth, and makes an ideal girlfriend or wife. The right candidate will find a rewarding romantic relationship with above-industry-standard compensation (DOE) and excellent benefits.

Responsibilities:
The Significant Other works in a fast-paced, high-drama environment to provide physical, emotional, and logistical support to Sue. Duties include listening sympathetically, cuddling, walks in romantic places, occasional small gifts. Other duties as determined.

Requirements:
5+ years emotional and financial stability
5+ years talking about feelings
4+ years having spotless bathroom
2+ years putting toilet seat down
Self-starter

Desired:
2+ years watching heart-wrenching chick flicks (or equivalent experience)
1+ years yard work and small household repairs
Nice car

Send resume with cover letter. No agents.

________________________
Copyright © 2012 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

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