Cinderfella

Snail and Lettucea fairy tale

Not long after Don’s father died, his mother married a man with two sons. The newlyweds then went out of town on an extended business trip, leaving the home to the three boys. The two brothers were both older than Don, and nastier than a hyena with a bowel obstruction. They completely took over, and banished Don to live by the hearth in the kitchen. He got very sooty, and they called him “Cinderfella.”
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Sheet White

Embroiderya fairy tale

Once upon a time there was a queen who had no children, despite many years of living a typically child-producing lifestyle. One day, as she sat doing her embroidery, she saw through her window the maids hanging the palace linens out to dry. They were as white as a sheet. Thus distracted, she pricked her finger. Her red blood flowed onto her embroidery and dried a rusty brown.

“If only I could have a daughter with skin as white as a sheet, and with eyes as brown as this stain,” she sighed.
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Toffifay Is Too Good for Kids

This is the result of a quick writing assignment at a recent writers’ conference I spoke at. Virtually unedited.

ToffifayWhen my mom brought home a candy called “Toffifay” and said I couldn’t have any because it’s “too good for kids,” I was outraged! Candy was made for kids. Candy was invented for kids. I’m sure there’s somewhere in the Bible that says, “Let the children come unto candy, and do not hinder them.” Mom wasn’t hearing any of it. “It says on the TV commercials it’s too good for kids, and if you can’t trust TV commercials, life is but an empty shell.”
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The Egg Princess

2013-0519.Red HenA Fairy Tale

Ivana’s parents, Ivan and Svetlana, were the poorest egg farmers in Polentia. They had but two hens, and the red one hadn’t laid in over a year. But Ivana was always happy. “Someday, I am going to be a princess,” she would say.

“What prince would marry you?” they asked.

“Oh, I’m not going to get married,” she would reply. “I’m going to be a princess on my own merits.”
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