How to Trope Like J.R.R. Tolkien

One Ring PoemOn and on they went, doing what they were doing (or having done to them what they were having done to them). On and on, and on, until all memory of what life was like before they were doing what they were doing (or having done to them what they were having done to them) had faded, and all they could remember was doing what they were doing (or having done to them what they were having done to them). Doing, doing, doing (or having done, having done, having done), for how long? an hour? a day? a week? a fortnight? The person didn’t know. Only that they had been doing what they were doing (or having done to them what they were having done to them) for time out of mind. On and on it went, and on, until just when they thought they couldn’t bear doing what they were doing (or having done to them what they were having done to them) a minute longer, it came to an end.
Continue reading

Give Me a Ring Sometime

The Ruling RingHello, and thank you for calling 1-800-EVIL-MAGIC. Your call may be monitored or recorded on parchment by our scribes. Please listen carefully, as our ai-mênu has changed.

To cover all the land in a second darkness, press one.

To destroy the land of Gondor in retaliation for Elendil daring to fight against you with Gil-galad, press two.
Continue reading